Artwork by Tiffany (fulllm00n @ soompi)


“Don’t worry,” he sang, revealing a toothless grin as he waved. “I’ll be back.”

She held her breath to suppress the swelling that bubbled uneasily in her chest. With her fist clenched tightly, she hushed the anticipation that threatened to explode. The boy, about six or seven of age, skipped merrily away. She wondered where he was going and wanted to ask when he will return. But her voice didn’t catch up with the thoughts that processed endlessly and registered too quickly. Her eyes trailed forlornly into the silver mist, something she never encountered. She retracted her arms and legs, in fear of being swallowed by this startling fog. What disturbed her was her peripheral vision. She couldn’t see past her arms reach. Suddenly aware and alert, she began to fear her surroundings. Beyond the mist hid the unknown. Yet the unknown also knew where the child went. She bit down on her lip as if that would help still the racing heart that pounded painfully in her ears, simmer the blood that jumped nervously beneath her skin. The harder she tried to venture forward—to save the boy—the further she withdrew. Beads of sweat dotted her forehead as it grew unbearably hot. It was then she realized she still held her breath. She arched her head this way and that, to find a source that would lead her to the boy. But nothing could be spotted as the fog thickened. She clamped her hands together. And pressed. Pressed and tightened.

Then a phone call shattered her dream.

♥

When her daughter called to inform her of the miscarriage, she had broke down and cried. Only because grips of reality stormed in and swept away remnants of the unsettling dream. The abrupt blast dragged away unearthed shadows that quietly lingered. Shadows she couldn’t see, didn’t see. Then the whispered words uttered in a broken melody tugged for her attention. She wept partly due to her desire to have a grandchild after so many attempts.

Bad things happen in threes.

“Don’t worry,” she hiccuped, consoling her daughter. In actuality, she was reassuring herself. Her muffled sobs seeped through the pores of her fingers and dripped into the receiver that connected to the telephone. “He’ll be back. As long as you’re okay…as long as you’re okay.”

♥

Many many years later, she received a postcard from London. She frowned once she failed to recognize the landmark that represented the foreign city. Her distaste deepened when she turned the card over. The unfamiliar handwriting stared boldly at her as if to challenge her ignorance. Her eyes fell upon a name that offered a bit of recognition.

“Donghae,” she murmured, grazing her fingers over the messily scrawled signature.

“Umma! Lee Donghae!” her daughter squealed breathlessly. “Lee Donghae is a healthy contender! Umma, he’s going to rule the world with his good graces and bless us all!”

She had laughed at the good news. But that was twenty years ago when the announcement of Donghae’s arrival to join the human race was heard. Her daughter rarely kept in contact as she frequently relocated with her family of four. Long ago, shortly after her grandson had turned eight, her daughter imposed a question that startled her.

“Umma, has Donghae’s father ever contacted you?”

“No, what’s wrong?”

“Donghae swears he met you.”

“That’s not possible,” she chided.

“But Donghae brought home a drawing. Umma, it’s not of me.”

She never disregarded the disturbing information. She blinked at the message that continued to stare at her.

Halmonim, I don’t know how Korean stars look like. In London, they like to gang up and bully insignificant people like me. It’s really massive and bright. It blinds and darkens me. Please tell the stars in Korea to be nice. I’ll be by to see you in July.

The abrupt notice had stolen her breath. She staggered into the house with a hand to her chest. She didn’t know if this fleeting onset of vertigo was due to excitement or anxiety. In any event, Lee Donghae was to present himself before her in days to come as June quickly drew to an end.

When she laid eyes on him, she took several steps back.

He was so tall.

Hardly a boy.

She nodded lovingly at this kin and ushered him inside. Her daughter’s bubbly chatter about the other son filled the air as they shuffled forward. Her son-in-law guided her to a chair so old, its age surpassed the married couple that stood before her with their child. She collapsed into the chair that overlooked the front of her home—the only area that was worthy of praise. She had busied herself with the water garden that occupied much of her front lawn and raised goldfishes to fill the loneliness her daughter left behind.

She looked up and reached for the hand that glowed in the dim reading room. “Donghae ah…”

The boy of twenty summers took two steps forward and crouched at her feet. His impish smile was charming just as his mother had once mentioned. She leaned forth to cup his face with the palm of her hands. She stared into the face and studied each feature.

The width and height of his forehead were prominent, the smooth complexion was blemish free, and the flesh of his skin shone with brilliance. His eyes were clear and bright. His jaw was well set and defined, and his teeth stood in perfect alignment that gleamed effortlessly.

“This is weird, halmonim,” Donghae confessed sheepishly as he lowered his eyes from the woman’s piercing stare.

“How so?”

“Umma said this is the first time I’ll be meeting you but I feel like we’ve met before.”

At this, the grandmother’s eyes lit up.

She felt likewise. She gradually nodded in agreement as she felt the cheeks in her grasp grow warm with color. She tilted her head to one side to analyze the boy further. “I feel it too. And to be honest, I think we have…”

Donghae smiled meekly to mask his bewilderment but remained silent. He couldn’t tell if she mocked him. But he decided to not rebuke and rose to his feet. He bowed to the elderly woman he had just came to learn as his grandmother. He sauntered away to join his parents in the kitchen when a soft cry prompted him to halt.

“Donghae ah…” she called.

He swiftly turned around to face his grandmother.

She felt her inner bowels tremble as she caught sight of the smile. It unnerved her the way he easily spun around. The twinkle in his eyes sparkled defiantly. His long slender fingers wrapped around the frame of the door to maintain balance. She motioned for him to near. And when he did, she clamped her hand over his and held on tightly.

He returned just as he said he would.

She finally made sense of it all.

“Donghae ah,” she murmured.

“Mmm?”

She shook her head. “Just let me look at you longer. I’ve waited twenty-two years just to meet you again.”

Her grandson nodded and plopped down on the floor before her. He leaned forward to rest his head on her lap.

She stroked the soft locks that spilled onto her thighs and smiled knowingly. She had once feared shadows she couldn’t see, didn’t see because she didn’t fully understand their intent. Strangely, she didn’t feel threatened. Perhaps it was her grandchild’s reassurance that calmed her all these years. Yet, she couldn’t interpret Donghae’s appearance twenty-two years ago when his mother miscarried.

The fog that dissipated over two decades ago had haunted her but she didn’t fear this time.

Because the boy that first slipped away twenty-two years ago reappeared before her as a man. And that man is there to protect her.